About a year ago I left a job that was comfortable, a good and stable job and maybe even in society’s definition a job that can push you to “success”. But the thing was, I just didn’t see myself growing old in that job, I was unhappy and the daily noise of my busy and stressful days muffled my character – I didn’t like what and who I was becoming. Don’t get me wrong, I am forever thankful for that job, I was given the privilege to meet and work alongside so many great people and people that I can now call my friends. I’ve gained so much experience and lessons that I know I will always be able to carry with me in my future career.
To tell you honestly, I can’t believe how time flies and frankly, I haven’t figured things out. Over this past year, I found myself constantly questioning my purpose in this season of abundant waiting. I have been constantly faced with trials, doubts and fear of what is to come or for what is not to come.
I spent my days this past year doing the best I can to distract myself from thinking way too much on what I am perhaps doing wrong and I instead tried to spend my days/afternoons spending time with my family and friends, seeing new sights and getting to know God and just spending time with His word and glorious presence.
As I awoke every
morning afternoon (perks of being jobless) *wink*, I grasped and try to continue to grasp on what I hold dear in my heart and that I know is true — God has His plans for me and that I shouldn’t lean on my own understanding.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Congruently, and with all honesty though, grasping these truths on a daily basis isn’t an easy feat. There are days when I question myself on what I’m even doing, I question myself and put myself down and count myself as a failure, and most painfully, I question God and His promises for me.
Going through countless e-mails, resume updating and interviews — I am still where I am but dare I say, a little better and a little stronger. My self-motivation skills has learned to build its own muscles as it has gone through its fair share of picking itself up piece by piece after building a possibility that is quickly shattered by a polite rejection or even worse, by a silent “I’ll never get in touch with you even after saying I will” rejection.
I still continue to face these trials but ironically I have come to terms with them. Recently, I’ve gone through a couple of interviews in a place that I’d love to work in and perhaps, sadly, the only job that I am genuinely excited to take on since I started my second job hunt. As I continue to go through the process of waiting, I could not help but reflect on the year that has passed — God’s grace and peace has been so prevalent in this season of waiting.
My questions to God on why I didn’t land a certain job when I was almost certain I would but progressed in jobs that I did not see fit, my questions to God on where my breakthroughs were, my questions to God on His plans for me – were all ultimately answered. I am still unsure whether I landed the aforementioned job but its stint was undoubtedly revelational.
God does not want me to settle for less and that He has closed certain doors for He knew that I would have been tempted to settle but at the same time He has opened certain doors to encourage me. His grace was so evident in these open doors because He made sure that these doors did not hinder me from His best that is to come. The doors that opened were an ultimate reminder of His power and a loving encouragement to march on. I went through what I did, to lead me where I am and has brought me to this situation. God’s grace has been so sufficient that I continue to have this joy of hope for what is yet to come even if I can only see so far. He has reminded me that He is working in my life even if I don’t see it.
I am thankful for everything that has come to pass – all the good and the not so good. I am thankful because despite me having not reigniting my career yet, I am able to lend a helping hand at home and in my family’s ventures. I am thankful for I continue to have a supportive family who understand what career I am aiming to start in. Most importantly, I am thankful because God continues to fuel my hope and His continuous pursuit has never been clearer.
I am unsure of what is to come in the next few days, weeks or even months of my career search but one thing I am sure of is that He is working and this past year has not been a waste – all the experiences, trials and quietness has brought me closer to the One that matters. There is no greater time than now to draw strength from Him and His plans will reveal themselves in His perfect time.
This story isn’t over and as He is working in me and through my life – I pray more than anything that His will be done in my life.
If you’re going through a similar situation, do not fret, it’s okay to not have life all figured out, it’s okay to take things a little slower, just remember to march on and remember the truths — you are loved and things may not make sense right now but they will, they always do.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
| Sharing a glimpse of my faith journey and getting a little personal, if you reached until this point, thank you for taking the time to read this!